Final Fantasy XIII to Feature Boobs

Tokyo, JP - In its thirteenth incarnation, our sources have determined that the newest Final Fantasy game will feature boobs. While screenshots of the boobs in question have not been officially released, our sources were able to locate leaked images of the boobs.

When questioned about the boobs, a source at SquareEnix stated something in Japanese, which we didn't understand, but we think they said, "We've been making these games for 20 years. We felt it was time to reward our players with a little bit of boob. The technology to render these boobs has come a long way since the NES days."

This is not Final Fantasy's first foray into boobland. Over the years, there have been many instances of 'mythical boob' on characters like Terra (Esper form) in FFVI, Jenova in FFVII, and many of the female monster sprites in various iterations of the games. However, FFXIII will be the first game to feature full-frontal human female 'erotic boob' in fully-rendered, perfectly-tanned, jiggling 3-D.

The articles on this site are satire, they are NOT factual, and are not intended to be taken seriously. Any resemblance to any private individuals, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Video Game Review: Final Fantasy

Four letters? I only get four letters to name my characters? What is this, 1920? Luckily, my favorite curses are only 4 letters long, so this isn’t a huge problem. One awesome thing is that you can pick which four types of characters make up your party. Four fighters all the way, buddy.

Like most other recent RPG’s, you will likely find yourself killing hordes and hordes of monsters just to get enough experience and gold to advance the story just one tiny bit, but if you do, you will eventually get an AIRSHIP, and it’s GREAT.

Now, here’s a thought…what if they make a sequel to this? A ‘Final Fantasy II’, if you will, that’d be an oxymoron…get it? Because it wouldn’t be the FINAL fantasy after all? Hehehe, I’m a funny guy.