Aliens Thwart US Plan to Blow Up Moon

Moon, THE - As a NASA rocket using 'kinetic energy' to 'impact the Moon' to 'test the ejecta plume for water' neared its target, the promised live video feed of the event was cut. While NASA is officially blaming the loss of the feed on 'technical issues,' the final frames of live video sent over the web clearly depict saucer-like objects closing in on the camera.

Astronomers with powerful telescopes are feverishly blogging to anyone that will listen that the promised impact never occurred, reporting instead that the rocket and its companion probe exploded before they hit the surface.

NASA and the US government have imposed a media embargo on the entire event, instead insisting that malfunctions cut the feed and that the event was a 'total success'.

The articles on this site are satire, they are NOT factual, and are not intended to be taken seriously. Any resemblance to any private individuals, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Link Between UFO Abductees and Mental Illness

Stuttgart, CA - Researchers have drawn a link between UFO abductees and mental illness. Utilizing MUFON reports from as far back as 1985, researchers have found a 100 percent correlation between abductees and 'being complete nutjobs'.

"Those researchers are just part of the conspiracy to silence us, man," says Jamie Hillard, an abuctee, "disinformation, misinformation, they brought down the Towers, they're the same ones who deny that Obama is a Lizardman and Hilary Clinton authorized the Kennedy Assasination in 2004 using time-traveling assassins. You think it's a coincidence? Do you? Who are you, anyway? Why are you recording this? I know what you're up to man. You might be able to silence me, but you'll never be able to silence the movement. You'll never silence the truth!"

The articles on this site are satire, they are NOT factual, and are not intended to be taken seriously. Any resemblance to any private individuals, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.