Christian-Muslim Relations Set to Flourish

New York, NY - While there have been tensions in the past, relations between Christians and Muslims are on track to improve dramatically over the next decade, experts agree. Even President Bush is preparing to make overtures to get more involved in Islamic strongholds such as Iraq and Afghanistan.

"It's important that we get closer to our Muslim neighbors here and abroad," Bush said in a recent speech.

World Still Here Despite Predictions

D'Starkville, IN - Despite predictions from the Mayans, Nostradamus, Christians, Muslims, Scientologists, and that guy on the corner of Fifth and Broad Street, the world is still here.

Between the dinosaurs rising from the sea and terrorizing the world's major cities, and the thick layer of sulfuric ash blotting out the sun most of the day, life continues to thrive. In spite of the billions killed by a global food shortage caused by a virus infecting the world's grain stocks, things are fine, and life goes on.

Even with the sustained nuclear bombings caused by glitchy missile defense systems, humans are still watching television just like normal. And even though the daily meteor strikes continue unabated, the mail still comes six days every year.

To all the doomsayers, the D'Starkville Diatribe would just like to say, "In your face!"