Friday, June 7, 2002

84% of Americans ‘Drunk Right Now’

Williamsport, NM – A survey conducted by Gloop Polling found that eighty-four percent of those polled were, at the time of polling, inebriated or in the process of getting inebriated. One of the questions used in the poll, ‘How shit-housed are you right now?’ elicited a 72 percent response of ‘Very,’ followed by a 6 percent response of ‘Somewhat,’ with a small percentage of respondents giving the answers of ‘Totally,’ and ‘A little.’

The sample size consisted of six respondents sitting near the pollster in the bar while he was conducting the survey, with a margin of error of ninety-six percent.