D'Starkville, IN - Cops arrested Rezn0r 13-Z B1ggs today for the murder of local man Ed Hodges. B1ggs reportedly hails from the year 2434 and travelled back to the present in an attempt to prevent the future birth of Hodges' great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandson Vacim3r 14-R III, the Grand Ossimer of All Nine Planets and Eater of Cute Little Babies.
Upon his arrest, B1ggs vaporized Sheriff Deputy Lyon Phillips with a 'meltzapper' and drove away in Phillips' squad car. Witnesses reportedly heard B1ggs yell, "Arrest me? I just saved the future, bitches! I'm off to Vegas to party with some hookers!"
The articles on this site are satire, they are NOT factual, and are not intended to be taken seriously. Any resemblance to any private individuals, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
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