Rockefeller, NY - Scientists studying the effects of cooties in laboratory animals have found a strong correllation between infected animals and the development of cancer, particularly cancer of the genitals.
Says Bell Green, one of the researchers, "All these years we've been downplaying the severity of cooties, only to find that it's a killer as strong as, if not stronger than, smoking."
Children who have contracted cooties are advised not to touch other children, especially girls, as girls are especially virulent carriers of the disease.
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