Mountain View, CA - Google has announced its newest project today, a plan to index the DNA of every living individual. Dubbed GoogleGenes, the goal is to create a searchable database containing every living individual's DNA information.
To use GoogleGenes, one will simply need a biological sample and a USB-complatible dongle which will analyze the sample. Dr. Winston, the visionary behing GoogleGenes, explained the process as follows:
"One simply needs a hair, blood, urine, stool, or skin sample from an individual, which is then placed in the microanalysis chamber where it is analyzed and compared to the master database. Afterwards, the identity of the individual is revealed, as well as any drug use, genetic disorders or any homosexual or Republican-leaning tendencies the individual may have."
The articles on this site are satire, they are NOT factual, and are not intended to be taken seriously. Any resemblance to any private individuals, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
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