Letters to the Editor

Dear Editor,

While I was trekking through the woods last week to find the ultimate camping spot, I came across a real live manticore. This was not a docile creature. I sustained severe injuries in the ensuing struggle, but thankfully, I was able to escape with my life.

Now that I’m out of the hospital, I’m left with a question: why is a supposedly mythical creature roaming the outlands of D’Starkville?

Sincerely,
One-legged Man

Leg-

A manticore is basically a lion with a human head, and sometimes possesses wings. As you so eloquently pointed out, they are, in fact, mythical creatures, so I can assure you that the creature that attacked you was probably not a manticore.

If what you’re suggesting is that the manticore you saw was the product of a DNA-chimeratizing experiment which managed to escape its confines and terrorize the countryside, we can all agree that your theory is completely ridiculous.

My advice to you is to stop ingesting psychotropic chemicals before you go strolling through the woods picking fights with brown bears.

Never leaving home without his battle axe,
Editor

The articles on this site are satire, they are NOT factual, and are not intended to be taken seriously. Any resemblance to any private individuals, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.