Washington, DC – In a speech to a group of dog owners at Paul Revere Memorial Park, President Obama revealed his latest tactic in garnering support for his proposal for socialized medicine: insuring pets.
“For too long have our four-legged friends suffered with medical maladies, which have oftentimes cost them their lives, for want of decent healthcare. All this suffering simply because we can’t ‘afford’ to save our pets? Shit, brother, if the problem is money, we’ve got oodles and oodles of it. Didn’t you see that 2 trillion we gave to the banks? No? If we run out, we can print more of it. If that doesn’t work, we can just keep writing China IOUs.
“For too long have our four-legged friends suffered with medical maladies, which have oftentimes cost them their lives, for want of decent healthcare. All this suffering simply because we can’t ‘afford’ to save our pets? Shit, brother, if the problem is money, we’ve got oodles and oodles of it. Didn’t you see that 2 trillion we gave to the banks? No? If we run out, we can print more of it. If that doesn’t work, we can just keep writing China IOUs.
“No Portuguese Water Dog of mine is going to die of leukemia just because ‘the government’ doesn’t think he should receive treatment. I AM THE GOVERNMENT, and I say let sleeping dogs LIVE!”
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