Monroeville, PA – A group calling itself 'Deadizens of America' has been campaigning vigorously for the right to vote. The group, led by Morgana Entwhistle, has been protesting in front of the Monroeville Mall holding signs and placards for over three weeks.
“America is supposed to be about freedom for everyone. Vampires and werewolves have had voting rights for over fifty years, but state and federal lawmakers have been denying us this basic liberty for the entirety of our afterlives,” Entwhistle said.
“Even when we are allowed to cast our vote, they call it ‘voting fraud’, which is ridiculous. The only fraud here is this sham of a government which thinks it can go on ignoring the rights of our ever-growing ranks.”
With the apocalypse scheduled for 2012, the population of the undead is expected to swell to hitherto unseen levels, with some analysts predicting zombies outnumbering the living as early as 2013.
“America is supposed to be about freedom for everyone. Vampires and werewolves have had voting rights for over fifty years, but state and federal lawmakers have been denying us this basic liberty for the entirety of our afterlives,” Entwhistle said.
“Even when we are allowed to cast our vote, they call it ‘voting fraud’, which is ridiculous. The only fraud here is this sham of a government which thinks it can go on ignoring the rights of our ever-growing ranks.”
With the apocalypse scheduled for 2012, the population of the undead is expected to swell to hitherto unseen levels, with some analysts predicting zombies outnumbering the living as early as 2013.
The articles on this site are satire, they are NOT factual, and are not intended to be taken seriously. Any resemblance to any private individuals, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
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